I can't think of a title to this blog entry...

...because more important things are bothering me this moment. To mention some:

-my runny nose

-dysmenorrhea

-flashfloods that have wiped away homes by the Cagayan de Oro rivers and creeks

-overhaul my first draft decision

-the overhauling has to be finished tomorrow

-my friends relocated to higher elevation to avoid catastrophe (safety not guaranteed)

-God's wrath

-P275.00 debt to Princess Lirio Ebol

-stuffy nose

-headache

-backpain

-no neozep or painkillers

-God's wrath

-what to wear to office tomorrow (of course, it has to be fierce and outlandish)

Note to self: Sing Sarah Bareilles and everything will be alright.

*Seriously, I'm just feeling dizzy from staring at the computer the whole day, the first 8 hours for work, the remaining hours for  mindless internet surfing. I'm not even in the mood for some Bill Kaultiz lovin'. But I am in the mood for sleep. Right. I'll just sleep. Shut up, Charissa.

 

 

Lullabye for A Stormy Day

The sound of rain crashing on the roof woke me up today.

I surprised myself by making coffee without sugar and putting on my mother's two-month-old sweater. There is a little doorstep at the back of the house which looked too lonely this stormy morning that I thought I should keep company.

I love stormy mornings. Vienna Teng must have loved stormy mornings too--how else in the world can she make the perfect soundtrack for days like these?Her melodies and falsettos just get to me, her lyrics like the gospel of the forlorn and the melancholic. She caters to that part of me which feels alive with the occassional tug at the heartstrings. I am, after all, a descendant of Sisyphus. I guess we all are. Existentially.

I don't know if I speak for you at this point, but let me just say there is beauty in carrying the weight of the worlds we create for ourselves, as well as those imposed on us by others, with or without our consent. It is like an art of  some sort, particularly of allowing which boulders to carry and which ones to throw back at their hurlers--gracefully, in french manicure. We subconsciously give in to pain, but only to the extent short of self-destruction, and only to emerge more alive, more beautiful, more ferocious than ever.

The rain still pounds on the roof and it shows no sign of stopping. I am savoring this grand display of sweet melancholy with Vienna Teng's lullabye...And someday you'll know that nature is so, This same rain that draws you near me Falls on rivers and land and forests and sand, Makes the beautiful world that you see In the morning...

Just apt for the day I will spend tucked under the blanket.

*Thanks to December Sun at flickr.com for the photo

home life

 

 

 

Isn't it great to just kick your shoes off after a hard day's work? Sit at the doorstep and be greeted by furballs with unconditional love?

Sigh.

I want everyday to be this normal, laid-back.(Spoken under the illusion that my life is as exciting as a rockstar's) 

For the nth time I say routine is good. It is liberating.I wake up in the morning, eat breakfast, brush my teeth, take the jeepney to work, come home after 5pm.

For the nth time, too, if only someone would open the door after seven clicks of the doorbell.

I want everyday to be this normal.

I also want a pair of wicked black platform shoes.

And did I tell you that world peace tops my list? Yes, I want that, too.

The Music in My Head (Re: Beautiful German Boy)

This manboy  cunningly deceived me into singing in German. 

Congratulations, Bill! 

I thank you and curse you at the same time. There's nothing more apt to say but GET OUT OF MY HEAD, you man-doll! 

I take that back. Please stay. Bleiben Sie bitte!

The song goes, " Ich muss durch den monsun/ Hinter die welt/ Ans ende der zeit/ Bis kein regen mehr fallt/Gegen den sturm/Am abgrund entlang/Und wenn ich nicht mehr kann, denk'ich daran/Irgendwann laufen wir zusammen/Durch den monsun, dann wird alles gut..."  *Nosebleed*

In English now, "Running through the monsoon/Beyond the world/To the end of time/Where the rain won't hurt/Fighting the storm/Into the blue/And when I loose myself I think of you/Together we'll be running somewhere new/Through the monsoon/Just me and you." *End of Nosebleed*

Photo credits: flickr.com; Song credits: Kaulitz, Jost, Hoffman, Roth